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>> herman cain says comedian jon stewart was mocking him. >> here is an example of jon stewart's bias. >> jon stewart gets his view from the left but can't admit he's a liberal mouthpiece. >> herman cain on his feud with political sequester jon stewart. >> jon stewart breaks into his amos and andy routine to mock herman cain. >> jon stewart tries to disguise his true liberal bias. >> jon stewart says he's both liberal and he's fair. let's see how that's working out. >> jon: i guess everyone got the memo. [laughter] do you want to bring your whole network to the throwdown? you want to go channel 44 versus channel 45? obviously that's the channel configuration of time warner in the new york area, your local listings where comedy central and fox are would be more accurate. of course, hd is a completely different situation. my point is you don't think i have peeps? you don't think i roll deep? cc rolls deep, yo, yo, check this [bleeped] out. yeah, yeah, yeah. comedy central, get me krud mandoon. that's, mother... really? canceled? when was that canceled? he's our only guy with a sword, th
>> herman cain says comedian jon stewart was mocking him. >> here is an example of jon stewart's bias. >> jon stewart gets his view from the left but can't admit he's a liberal mouthpiece. >> herman cain on his feud with political sequester jon stewart. >> jon stewart breaks into his amos and andy routine to mock herman cain. >> jon stewart tries to disguise his true liberal bias. >> jon stewart says he's both liberal and he's fair. let's see how that's...
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captioning sponsored by comedy central >> jon: welcome to the daily show. my name is jon stewart. tonight jennifer aniston. jennifer aniston will be here. i hope i'm not too exhausted. i had a crazy weekend. yesterday likeyear in the end of june last weekend i dress in glitter like a peacock. i march down fifth avenue to raise awareness of exotic birds. and i've got to tell you this year almost more than any other year it went really really well. i couldn't believe the support i was getting. people are like this is a great day. it's been too long. i was like, yeah, exotic birds. you know what i mean? and then people are like wasn't friday amazing? i was like why? what happened friday? >> it is a history-making night with a vote that just happened a short time ago. new york becomes the 7th jurisdiction in america to recognize marriage for same sex couples. >> jon: that's a major civil rights victory. ( cheers and applause ) new york, finally, new york state's gay and lesbian community are free from the burden that was having to set foot in connecticut in order to get married. ( app
captioning sponsored by comedy central >> jon: welcome to the daily show. my name is jon stewart. tonight jennifer aniston. jennifer aniston will be here. i hope i'm not too exhausted. i had a crazy weekend. yesterday likeyear in the end of june last weekend i dress in glitter like a peacock. i march down fifth avenue to raise awareness of exotic birds. and i've got to tell you this year almost more than any other year it went really really well. i couldn't believe the support i was...
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like jon stewart was saying. the president has gone way outside anyone's comfort zone with med zaide, medicare and social security and dropping revenues which is a serious mistake. be that as it may, he's the most serious person at that table, in terms of trying to avoid a default, and i still think we will avoid it. i think at the end of the day, that will -- that saner minds prevail, but every minute i get more nervous and every minute we talk about this we're not talking about jobs and the economy. the cost of this debate of legion in my view. >> jimmy williams. one person is controlling the agenda of the united states of america right now and his name is grover norquist. grover norquist was nude gingrich's butt buddy. jack abra hof's buddy. charged peoples 25ds,000 a pop to go to a bush white house signing ceremony. he is a petty crim kninal and m just about every single member of the house of republicans, on the republican side, not the tea party, and almost all republican. s signing a pledge saying they wil
like jon stewart was saying. the president has gone way outside anyone's comfort zone with med zaide, medicare and social security and dropping revenues which is a serious mistake. be that as it may, he's the most serious person at that table, in terms of trying to avoid a default, and i still think we will avoid it. i think at the end of the day, that will -- that saner minds prevail, but every minute i get more nervous and every minute we talk about this we're not talking about jobs and the...
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[laughter] >> jon: jon stewart, "the daily show." i have a quick question. as a frequent radioshack customer, i may be qualified to tell you what may be an issue with your plan, but go ahead. >> the problem with it was the limited battery life. [laughter and applause] >> jon: see, the batteries at radioshack are designed to work with one of those little remote control helicopters that work... once. [laughter] so now that we know the g.p.s. tracking system for the assault rifles we sold mexican cartels didn't work, how do we find out where the guns are? what is plan "b"? >> the only way you're going to find those guns in mexico is where? >> at crime scenes in which either the bad guy was killed and his gun was left at the scene or used during the commission of a crime in which the gun was left behind. >> jon: okay. [laughter] so our plan to prevent american guns from being used in mexican gang violence is to provide mexican gangs american guns. [laughter] to use according to our plan. [laughter] how exactly did we convince the mexican government to cooperate
[laughter] >> jon: jon stewart, "the daily show." i have a quick question. as a frequent radioshack customer, i may be qualified to tell you what may be an issue with your plan, but go ahead. >> the problem with it was the limited battery life. [laughter and applause] >> jon: see, the batteries at radioshack are designed to work with one of those little remote control helicopters that work... once. [laughter] so now that we know the g.p.s. tracking system for the...
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Jul 28, 2011
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my name is jon stewart. good show tonight! we got a nice one for you tonight. our guest tonight, npr's juan williams will be joining us. (cheers and applause) really? he's not there anymore? (laughter) well, i'll definitely ask him about that. (laughter) but we begin, of course, with our ongoing national crisis. (laughter and applause) one week, ladies and gentlemen, for our two parties to agree to raise the country's arbitrary debt limit for the 102nd time for the drop-dead august 2 catastrophic ultimatum we've already moved twice. (laughter) and so it was under these conditions that president barack obama interrupted a bachelorette's search for love... (laughter). ... to take that long walk down "we killed bin laden" lane. >> tonight i want to talk about the debate we've been having in washington over the national debt. >> jon: the debate we've been having? (laughter) is that what that noise out of washington's been? it sounded like an a elephant seal trying to (bleep) a truck! (laughter) actually, that footage is from a few years ago. the two of them are ver
my name is jon stewart. good show tonight! we got a nice one for you tonight. our guest tonight, npr's juan williams will be joining us. (cheers and applause) really? he's not there anymore? (laughter) well, i'll definitely ask him about that. (laughter) but we begin, of course, with our ongoing national crisis. (laughter and applause) one week, ladies and gentlemen, for our two parties to agree to raise the country's arbitrary debt limit for the 102nd time for the drop-dead august 2...
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Jul 1, 2011
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jon stewart, here's jon stewart at the grammys or emmys or whatever they give for television. i don't know because i'll never win one, but here he is with his writers. he's got 15 writers for this segment. i believe he's had as many as 40 writers. he uses these writers for six minutes of television and a total of 22 minutes a night. whoa. i want to bring in my writers, bring them all in because we have never seen them. can you bring them? bring them in. oh, here they are. dan and pat. hi, dan. hi, pat. see. its easy to speak from the heart. its easy to do things when you actually believe them. we've done it with a remarkably small and dedicated staff and remarkably large and dedicated audience and we thank you for that. >> glenn: my whole world has changed because of the time we spend together every day at 5:00, this is the last program. i want to show you little things that because we've met, things change. holding money. if i -- i wouldn't have said this two and a half years ago. i look at this one, ben franklin. abolitionists. willing to go looking crazy, go to his grave lo
jon stewart, here's jon stewart at the grammys or emmys or whatever they give for television. i don't know because i'll never win one, but here he is with his writers. he's got 15 writers for this segment. i believe he's had as many as 40 writers. he uses these writers for six minutes of television and a total of 22 minutes a night. whoa. i want to bring in my writers, bring them all in because we have never seen them. can you bring them? bring them in. oh, here they are. dan and pat. hi, dan....
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my name is jon stewart. we have a good one for you tonight. we have put together a program for you tonight that i think will delight and entertain. my guest rachel weisz here to talk about her new film. [cheering and applause] her new film is called "the whistleblower." it's about a young girl who finds a whistle. [laughter] i don't want to give away the rest. [laughter] she blows the whistle. she ultimately blows the whistle. but let's begin tonight in norway. obviously what norway's going through right now is just awful. people are upset, angry, outraged, although some people's upset, anger and outrage, at least in this country, extends into areas that may surprise you. >> why is the liberal press playing up the christian angle in the norway shooting case? >> the mainstream media was quick to portray the suspect as a christian extremist. >> they lay down this narrative every time there's a psychoout there. he's a fundamentalist christian that. is not the case absolutely at all. >> they quickly labeled him christian when there's nothing relig
my name is jon stewart. we have a good one for you tonight. we have put together a program for you tonight that i think will delight and entertain. my guest rachel weisz here to talk about her new film. [cheering and applause] her new film is called "the whistleblower." it's about a young girl who finds a whistle. [laughter] i don't want to give away the rest. [laughter] she blows the whistle. she ultimately blows the whistle. but let's begin tonight in norway. obviously what norway's...
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Jul 14, 2011
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my name is jon stewart. we've got a good one for you tonight. my guest tonight author matthew richardson. he is author of a book about fannie mae and freddy imagine and -- freddie mac and why the two shu never have gotten married. republican michel bachmann has surged above president obama. the key to the success progrowth agenda, adherence to the founding fathers principles and something special. >> analysts say her uncompromising views on homosexuality are one of big reasons she's gaining traction in iowa. >> jon: what? why would iowans be so concerned about what happens three inches below the corn belt? [laughter] since the iowa supreme court legalized same-sex marriage in 2009 they've noticed real changes in the state's cash crop! [laughter] yes, their worst fears corn destroyed by a (bleep) playing. [laughter] a -- (bleep) plague. movie about iowa field of -- if you build it they will -- you know. [laughter] it's no surprising the message is resonating to conservatives there. unless you think she's pandering rest april sured she's be on thi
my name is jon stewart. we've got a good one for you tonight. my guest tonight author matthew richardson. he is author of a book about fannie mae and freddy imagine and -- freddie mac and why the two shu never have gotten married. republican michel bachmann has surged above president obama. the key to the success progrowth agenda, adherence to the founding fathers principles and something special. >> analysts say her uncompromising views on homosexuality are one of big reasons she's...
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also cashing in the perfect time to roll out my new jon stewart brand tuxedos. all the elegance of a tuxedo but with the flattering physique. >> (cat yowling). >> jon: indeed. fray fry's decision brings the total number of states permitting gay marriage to 7. 41 other states still have laws on the books explicitly banning same sex marriage. it's why many gay activists are looking for federal action to achieve national marriage equality. last thursday barack obama addressed that very question. >> i have long believed that the so-called defense of marriage act ought to be repealed. >> jon: hear, hear, yeah! i assume the president's problem with the defense of marriage act is that it should be a federal law in support of gay marriage. >> part of the reason that doma doesn't make sense is that traditionally marriage has been decided by the states. (audience groaning). >> jon: really? the gentleman with mixed race parents playing the states no best card. you know, when i was born... ( cheers and applause ) when i was born my parents' marriage would have been illegal
also cashing in the perfect time to roll out my new jon stewart brand tuxedos. all the elegance of a tuxedo but with the flattering physique. >> (cat yowling). >> jon: indeed. fray fry's decision brings the total number of states permitting gay marriage to 7. 41 other states still have laws on the books explicitly banning same sex marriage. it's why many gay activists are looking for federal action to achieve national marriage equality. last thursday barack obama addressed that very...
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jon stewart picked up on all of it with chuck schumer. >> the democratic response to the republicans use of that clip from the movie the town did lead to one of my favorite recent moments on cable news. i give you chuck schumer's movie break down show. >> in the scene, they chose to inspire their house freshmen, one of the crooks gives a pep talk to the other right before they both put on hockey masks, bludgeon two men with sticks, and shoot a man in the leg. >> join us next week when i, chuck assume, revishu schumer, i classic the star wars. in this film, a large asthmatic man dressed in black plastic cuts the arm off of a boy wearing pajamas with some type of a glow stick. and here's the part you won't believe. the man in the suit is the boy's father. >> pretty good summary. still ahead on "way too early," why are you awake? tweets, texts and e-mails are next. emily's just starting out... and on a budget. like a ramen noodle- every-night budget. she thought allstate car insurance was out of her reach. until she heard about the value plan. and saving money with allstate doesn't stop
jon stewart picked up on all of it with chuck schumer. >> the democratic response to the republicans use of that clip from the movie the town did lead to one of my favorite recent moments on cable news. i give you chuck schumer's movie break down show. >> in the scene, they chose to inspire their house freshmen, one of the crooks gives a pep talk to the other right before they both put on hockey masks, bludgeon two men with sticks, and shoot a man in the leg. >> join us next...
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well wouldn't you know it, jon stewart and "the daily show" took notice of mr. rossen's report. >> it is experienced over the past week, a weather phenomenon of extreme heat called la solaro. it's weather phenomenon where the sun gets close enough to the earth to hug it. and then do this to it -- haaaaaaaa. but where we humans saw hardship tv weather news people saw hot-portunity. >> can you really cook eggs on a street. baked cookies on a dashboard. the pizza is actually fully cooked. >> this guy may be eating pizza straight off the sidewalk. but at least he didn't use a [ bleep ] fork when he ate it. as long as i live, as long as i live -- you don't eat, how dare you disrespect me. you son of a [ bleep ]. >> going back to the sort of psuedo de niro, i don't know what it is, but i like it. here it is, again, mr. trump, our good friend, donald j. trump, eating pizza with a fork. with sarah palin in may. we like dumb criminals here on "way too early" as you may have noticed. there's a liquor store down in pembroke, florida, that's been hit twice now by the same v
well wouldn't you know it, jon stewart and "the daily show" took notice of mr. rossen's report. >> it is experienced over the past week, a weather phenomenon of extreme heat called la solaro. it's weather phenomenon where the sun gets close enough to the earth to hug it. and then do this to it -- haaaaaaaa. but where we humans saw hardship tv weather news people saw hot-portunity. >> can you really cook eggs on a street. baked cookies on a dashboard. the pizza is actually...
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my name is jon stewart. we have a very special show, very special guest tonight. medal of honor recipient sergeant first class leroy petry will be joining us on the program tonight. we're honored. we begin tonight, of course, with the looming crisis. as you know, on august 2nd, if america fails to raise the debt ceiling, we default on our debt. people lose the capacity to love. [laughter] and animals lose the capacity to lick their own genitals. that's right. if we don't raise the debt ceiling on august 2nd, man will be sentenced to an eternity of licking our own pet's genital, because what would we really do? let them dry out? of course not. [laughter] so hopefully our president, barack obama, can in one swift rooseveltian "we have nothing to fear but fear itself" moment ease the american psychoi can. >> can you tell the folks at home that no matter what happens the social security checks will go out on august 3rd. >> i cannot guarantee that those checks go out on august 3rd if we haven't resolved this issue because there may simply not be the money in the coffer
my name is jon stewart. we have a very special show, very special guest tonight. medal of honor recipient sergeant first class leroy petry will be joining us on the program tonight. we're honored. we begin tonight, of course, with the looming crisis. as you know, on august 2nd, if america fails to raise the debt ceiling, we default on our debt. people lose the capacity to love. [laughter] and animals lose the capacity to lick their own genitals. that's right. if we don't raise the debt ceiling...
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Jul 20, 2011
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name is jon stewart. big show. big, big, big, big, big show. our guests tonight, we have on tonight's program pakistan's former president pervez musharraf. my guess is we'll have a delightful beverage and a lovely conversation. (cheers and applause) so let's begin tonight with the on going "news of the world" phone hacking scandal. to get you caught up, a seemingly simple story. ma and pa owned newspaper hacking into a murdered little girl's phone and... (laughter). ... paying the police to cover it up. has unfortunately turned ugly. (laughter) as of now, london's two top policemen at scotland yard let's call them officer blu rotton has resigned. andrew colton has been arrested and sunday tragically authorities arrested poor mrs. weasley. (laughter) wait, no that's not mrs. weasley. sorry, tragically, authorities arrested the guy from simply red. yeah, that's it. actually, arrested was rebekah brooks, the woman who ran "news of the world" during the worst of-- as the british call them-- the troubles. (lau
name is jon stewart. big show. big, big, big, big, big show. our guests tonight, we have on tonight's program pakistan's former president pervez musharraf. my guess is we'll have a delightful beverage and a lovely conversation. (cheers and applause) so let's begin tonight with the on going "news of the world" phone hacking scandal. to get you caught up, a seemingly simple story. ma and pa owned newspaper hacking into a murdered little girl's phone and... (laughter). ... paying the...
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stewart now has the bull's eye on his back. >> jon stewart says he is both liberal and fair. is he really? >> did jon stewart mock republican presidential candidate herman cane because he's a black man? >> he gets away with one sided attacks. are. >> jon stewart needs a lessen on truth telling. >> kerimen -- herman cain says that he was mocking him. >> i guess everyone got the memo. >> he did make fun of him in an an amos and andy voice i found unis thing but he did a lot of
stewart now has the bull's eye on his back. >> jon stewart says he is both liberal and fair. is he really? >> did jon stewart mock republican presidential candidate herman cane because he's a black man? >> he gets away with one sided attacks. are. >> jon stewart needs a lessen on truth telling. >> kerimen -- herman cain says that he was mocking him. >> i guess everyone got the memo. >> he did make fun of him in an an amos and andy voice i found unis...
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my name is jon stewart. got a big show for you tonight. bill kristol, editor of "the weekly standard," will be joining us. he's a fox news contributor. yet, yet, i hope to talk to him about a less contentious issue than that, like afghanistan. all right. ( laughter ) what a show. we're going to start with something that i found on the tv box this morning that was maybe one of the greatest things i've ever seen in my life. >> mark halperin. what was the president's strategy? >> are we in the seven-second delay today? >> oh, lordy. >> i want to characterize how i thought the president behaved. >> we have it. we can use it, right, alex? >> yeah, sure, come on. >> go for it. >> i thought he was kind of a dick yesterday. ( laughter ) >> jon: mark halperin, senior political analyst, editor at large of "time" magazine just called the president a dick. and that wasn't like a spontaneous, like, can't contain myself, you lie! like this one, you guys have a delay because i'm going to call the president a dick. now, people can argue whether that's app
my name is jon stewart. got a big show for you tonight. bill kristol, editor of "the weekly standard," will be joining us. he's a fox news contributor. yet, yet, i hope to talk to him about a less contentious issue than that, like afghanistan. all right. ( laughter ) what a show. we're going to start with something that i found on the tv box this morning that was maybe one of the greatest things i've ever seen in my life. >> mark halperin. what was the president's strategy?...
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zain, you definitely captured the essence of me better than jon stewart did. always a pleasure to see you as always. zain verjee in london. there is a bit of a resemblance to an egg, i have to say. >>> a new way to tell if somebody under the influence of drugs. a fingerprint. a british company developed a devise that analyzes the sweat pours in fingertips. the news was announced at a conference last week. no word when it will be used at a traffic stop near you. >>> you know all the invisible radio waves around it, researchers captured that electromagnetic energy. they store it, builds up to power, things like sensors or micro processors. that's neat and scary at the same time. time for the businessman's special. dirty hotels. we have the dirtiest hotels from trip adviser up next. it's 26 after the hour. that's gross. with roc®retinol and antioxidants. lines, wrinkles, and sun damage will fade. roc multi-correxion. correct what ages you. roc multi-correxion. somewhere in america, a city comes to life. it moves effortlessly, breathes easily. it flows with clean
zain, you definitely captured the essence of me better than jon stewart did. always a pleasure to see you as always. zain verjee in london. there is a bit of a resemblance to an egg, i have to say. >>> a new way to tell if somebody under the influence of drugs. a fingerprint. a british company developed a devise that analyzes the sweat pours in fingertips. the news was announced at a conference last week. no word when it will be used at a traffic stop near you. >>> you know...
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stewart said. >> if you have the emissions of the -- the cap room. >> i don't know what he is talking about? cap and trade is fascinating. but the pie tin is not han dirks you can say it with glitter as the republican presidential candidates are finding out lately. >> any way, next, martin bashir who is not covered in pie or glitter is in london with the latest on the scandal surrounding the murdoch family. stay with us. [ female announcer ] experience dual-action power, with listerine® whitening plus restoring rinse. it's the only listerine® that gets teeth two shades whiter and makes tooth enamel two times stronger. get dual-action listerine® whitening rinse. building whiter, stronger teeth. it's schwab at your fingertips wherever, whenever you want. one log in lets you monitor all of your balances and transfer between accounts, so your money can move as fast as you do. check out your portfolio, track the market with live updates. and execute trades anywhere and anytime the inspiration hits you. even deposit checks right from your phone. just take a picture, hit deposit and you'r
stewart said. >> if you have the emissions of the -- the cap room. >> i don't know what he is talking about? cap and trade is fascinating. but the pie tin is not han dirks you can say it with glitter as the republican presidential candidates are finding out lately. >> any way, next, martin bashir who is not covered in pie or glitter is in london with the latest on the scandal surrounding the murdoch family. stay with us. [ female announcer ] experience dual-action power, with...